MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - OK, so the holidays are over. For some folks, they will linger on well into the new year.  They will relive parties, football games, and on and on and on – for weeks. They made New Year’s Resolutions that didn’t survive the first weekend.  They made promises and commitments to family, friends, and others that are long forgotten. They spent several lazy days making excuses and avoiding anything like year-end; self-evaluation, introspection or analysis and accountability.  No one needs to tell you that it is 2020 and this year is a blank slate and 12 months from now you will be looking back deciding whether it was a great year or one you want to forget for any number of reasons. It is time to get started.  It is time to begin in earnest what you didn’t accomplish in 2019.  So, why not live this year with; purpose, passion, desire, written goals, specific plans, self-accountability, fun, gratitude, wisdom, effort, faith, courage, kindness and compassion.  I will guarantee that if these are the foundation of your 2020 actions, thoughts, behaviors and attitudes – this year will be – one for the books – one that will live forever in your heart and mind as “WOW – I would have never thought I could have accomplished so much.”  So - GO FOR IT – NO regrets and NO excuses.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – So – your 2020 is all planned, scheduled and your goals are set and ready to rock . . . I believe in all of these activities and spend routine time every week, month and year considering them. However – have you ever had a routine fall apart?  Ever not achieved a goal? Ever not finished a project that was well planned? And why do any of these unplanned outcomes happen – because something you couldn’t control showed up! In 2020 if you are a control freak you will spend a lot of time in anxiety, frustration and disappointment. If you don’t try to plan anything or set goals you will end up with the same negative outcomes.  So, what’s the answer to a successful and peaceful stress-free 2020? Plan, schedule and set the goals but don’t get attached to them. Don’t assume it will all end up as planned or hoped. Have a plan B and even a plan C – just in case. Accept the simple fact that there is very little in life that you can control and that the how’s, when’s, where’s or who’s that impact your life, career or business can happen in an instant. One of my mantra’s for many years has been – “I will get excited if it happens but I won’t be disappointed if it doesn’t.”  Try it – it works. Have a great 2020.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - You’ve heard it . . . and I’m sure you’ve said it – “You need to think outside the box.” When or why are you supposed to think outside the box? When something isn’t working, you are not getting the results you need, or you have lost control of a process?  Yes, and there are more reasons to experiment with new ideas, approaches, and concepts, but my point in this brief note is that there is an inherent problem with thinking outside the box and that is when you do - by trying something new, different or better - if, in the end, what’s outside the box doesn’t work or solve the problem - what do you think most people’s tendency is to do next?  You guessed it - to jump back into the original comfortable box they have been in even though what’s in that box - isn’t working which ultimately triggered the need to jump into a new box. I’m not suggesting that you should always try different or new stuff or settle for the status quo – what I’m saying is that what you may need to consider is “Throwing the box away.” When change is necessary if you give yourself the opportunity to retreat into what has been in the past when something new you try doesn’t work - what do you think your chances are of creative new solutions in the future?  Try letting go of the ability to jump into the safety net of what has worked in the past or may not be working today and embrace what can or might be the future – in 2020 – it’s a blank slate and who knows – amazing outcomes could be waiting so - Throw the box away!

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - You get the behavior you reward - if you don't like the behavior stop blaming the people who are behaving inappropriately whether they are - customers, employees, children, spouses, etc. They are behaving the way they are because you are either tolerating it or contributing to it. i.e. customers who pay for invoices in 60, 90 days or longer - why - because you let them. Kids who act like idiots in public - why - because you let them. Employees who are always late - why - because you let them.  Shall I go on or have you figured this out? If someone is not behaving the way they should, or you would like them to - stop pointing the finger and look in the mirror.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – Ever had a nogret?  You have probably never heard the word before because I just made it up.  I have been considering a simple idea the past several days – how can we live with less regret in life either due to the actions and decisions of others or ourselves so I came up with this word. Regret means to look in the past and feel remorse (regret) for actions, choices and decisions. What if we were to reverse that process? Nogret is asking you to fix things in advance with wiser behavior, actions, decisions, choices, etc. before these consequences become regrets. Consider a simple three-step process as a technique to embrace “Nogret” for the coming year. It will help you avoid future emotional, financial, physical and relationship pain.  Step one: Develop a decision process that includes patience, inspection, double consideration, and a minimum of a 24-hour waiting period before any action is taken regardless of the circumstance.  Step two; Share your potential decision issues with someone you trust and respect who will give you neutral, honest, unbiased and thoughtful feedback.  You don’t have to like them or accept them – you just need to consider them.  Step three; If you are unwilling to take 100% ownership of both the short and long-term outcomes, results or consequences – reconsider.  Try it before your next decision or action – you might be amazed at how much future pain you can avoid.  Live 2020 with -Nogret!

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK So far this week have you gotten yourself into a twit because you had to wait in line at the bank, waited too long for your server to bring your meal, were in a traffic, were on hold on the phone too long or any other situation you couldn’t control? Over the years as a sailor, I learned early that I could not control the wind, but I could control the rudder. Do you know a control freak? Are you one? Well if you are let me tell you, you spend far too much time in life upset, annoyed, anxious, frustrated, stressed, etc. The biggest contributor to death is stress, the number one contributor to stress is impatience, the biggest contributor to impatience is the emotional need for control. So, if you have control issues – guess what - yep you are killing yourself sooner than necessary. Let me ask you - what can you control in your life – think about it - really can you control how other people drive, what other people think, how others act, the weather - this list is endless? Sure, you can control what you eat, when you go to bed, what you wear, etc. got it - you can control you that’s it. So, it’s simple relax, chill, slow down, enjoy the moment whatever it entails or keep yourself in stress mode and miss the adventure of life that is in front of you

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - You As we approach the end of another year I was wondering where your focus and attention have been – on yesterday and the past and what you can’t change or do-over, on tomorrow and the future and what there is no guarantee you will have or the present as you passed through each day one person, one event, one challenge and one blessing at a time. As a holiday Hallmark Junkie, I was watching one of my favorite Christmas movies last week and the thought struck me – do most people live as they will have forever or do, they live one amazing day at a time?  We are all here for a little while.  I don’t care if you are in your thirties, fifties or eighties, no one knows how much time they have left.  What happens after you leave here is another discussion but one day will be your last and do you know when that day will be?  OR, do you want to ensure that when that day arrives you can leave here knowing you touched whoever crossed your path - in a positive and lasting way while you were here?