THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – For just a moment – consider you are a famous, successful, and respected celebrity being interviewed by a major publication and for the content, they want your answers to a variety of questions. So, here are just a few of the questions – how would you answer them?  Verbally, in writing – doesn’t matter OR, you can ask someone you know or are close to or related to, to answer the questions about you. Here we go – What’s your biggest life regret? How do you want to be remembered? Name three of your life heroes and why. What has been your most important life lesson? What was your biggest mistake in life? What living person do you most admire and why?  If you could go back and start over, what would you do differently?  How should we handle getting older?  Criticism?  What role(s) have relationships played in your life?  What’s the best advice you have ever received? What’s the biggest criticism you have gotten?  What skills do you most admire?  Human traits?  And now the last one – If you could change anything in your life now – what would it be and why?

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - When is it too late to start over or for second or even a third chance – in a career, a relationship, a business or just life. It’s a really simple answer - when you are dead. I have no clue why people quit or give up when a business fails or a relationship ends without their control or they are given bad health news or someone special in their life dies or they think they are too old or – shall I go on? Ever wanted to quit? Ever quit or caved?  Ever thrown in the towel for any number of stupid reasons? Well, I have to tell you after far more failures in; relationships, business, finances, health, and relationships I am the expert on not quitting. Not bragging cause I’m sure some of you are questioning my right to even write this given my sordid past. But I digress. It is never too late to start again in any life area as long as you are willing to learn three simple truths; 1 - failure is an important ingredient of success. 2 – If you don’t learn from the past you are doomed to repeat a failure in the same life area. And 3 – How you handle failure, adversity, and disappointment define your character, circumstances, and future.

During these challenging times, many people find themselves alone and disconnected from others and the world. There are three aspects of this topic; loneliness, aloneness and solitude and all three are not circumstances but mindsets. You can be lonely while in a crowd. Loneliness is not solved by others or circumstances. It is solved by changing your perspective. The next level above loneliness is aloneness. This life period is not always a choice, but the response is always positive rather than negative.  You use the time for any number of actions; study, prayer, learning, exercising, etc.    The final level is solitude. This is a choice to be alone for a variety of reasons; introspection, personal growth or just to observe life as it unfolds.  Let me ask you – during this difficult period or any other similar ones in the past or ones you will experience in the future – which of these three approaches dominates your time, your life, your decisions, etc.? The final two can be a valuable life opportunity while the first one is a waste of life and all aspects of it.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – Consider – which is a better life teacher success or failure? Success can teach us many things – what works, what feels good, what is of value in our life or the life of others etc.  But, here’s the problem with success lessons – they tend to prevent us from looking at what isn’t working or wrong or how what we are doing could be working even better.  Consistent success tends to keep people stuck – yes, they have had many success benefits but imagine for a moment if they could achieve even greater success if they would learn to see past their success to what could be? What can failure teach us – (your turn). What has failure taught you during your life? What has success taught you? Now the tough one – which lessons do you feel – over time - were more valuable or beneficial? Anyone who has ever achieved worthwhile success has faced trials, failure, adversity, etc. Failure, adversity, challenges, trials, etc. are not what is happening to us but how we respond to it, react, deal with it, learn from it or use it for something good. Think of success and failure as teachers. Some of the lessons are painful and some exhilarating but, in the end, – which tend to be more valuable?  If you are a success freak you probably disagree with me with the premise of this concept.  If you are a huge success, I’ll bet you “get it”. THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – Which is a better teacher in life - success or failure?

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - Are doing what you are destined to do or are you just working- day after day, year after year in a career or business to make money, pay bills and own stuff? Let me put this another way does your career, job or business give you a sense of joy – day In and day out?  If your answer is no to either question, I’m sure you know what the next one is that’s coming? Why? You might be amazed at how many people lie on their deathbed sharing nothing but regrets and disappointments again – why? This is not a book – there are hundreds of them out there to help you address this issue. This is just a simple few sentence to try and get your attention, maybe for the first time, about how your life is progressing.  Sure you might be successful, wealthy, and even tell others how happy and content you are but let me ask you – in the quiet of your own consciousness – would you like something important in your life to be better or different, added or removed before it’s too late (and none of us know when that time is) that you believe would give you more peace, joy, contentment and a belief that you are living the destiny you were designed for? What are you waiting for?

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - I’ve discovered that when it comes to an individual’s reactions to life circumstances, people, adversity, opportunities, etc. there are two types of people; inside-out and outside-in. Let me explain with two quick examples. You are on your way to an important appointment and you get a flat tire. An outside-in person starts blaming the road, the tire, the weather, the whatever. While in blame mode they also start whining, complaining and even screaming at whatever or whoever. An inside-out person just starts changing the tire or calls road service. Next – Your turn - A peer receives a promotion that you feel you deserve. How do you think the outside-in person reacts? The inside-out person? Who do you think lives longer? Who do you think tends to be more successful? Who do you think is happier?  Which do you think you are? If you asked some close friends or relatives which one would they say you are? Know any outside -in people? Like being around them? Listening to them? Know any inside-out people? Learned any valuable lessons from them? Look forward to spending more time with them? If you are an outside-in person – you probably stopped reading a while ago. If you are an inside-out person - I’ll bet you wish this article was a bit longer.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE - Do you know the difference between knowledge and wisdom?  First of all – most people say a hundred times a day – I know this, and I know that – blah blah blah.  Trust me very little of what you think you know is really true.  I’d love to ask a politician, a weather person or physician this simple question when they say anything - how do you know that?  And you know what they would say – they would just give me more reasons or opinions to validate their words.  It’s simple folks - knowing is superficial and temporary – wisdom blends a degree of knowledge with, experience, information, insight, discernment, education, and history.  Much of what you think you know and act as if you know is nothing but conjecture or your opinion. What we thought we knew about travel, medicine, technology, etc. 2000 years ago is a lot different than what we know today.  And what we will know 100 years from today will be a lot different than what is true today.  Here’s the basic problem – most people become attached to what they think they know is true and then they let it define them. I’ll close with a quick question – in the past several years have you changed an opinion about anything because of new information, experience or education?  I rest my case.

I know it’s not Thursday yet but I couldn’t resist sharing the following early. There are two fundamental human emotions – fear & love.  All other emotions are offshoots of these two.  During difficult and uncertain times, it is important to know which emotion drives your behavior, choices, and decisions.  Let’s start with fear.  Here are the basic causes of fear; the need for control, low self-esteem, ignorance, early conditioned environment, a lack of self-belief, a lack of certain skills or resources to handle uncertainty, emotional immaturity, high ego dominance, a lack of faith and trust in God, the fear of rejection and self-doubt.  Here are a few of the contributors to the emotion of love; service to others, compassion, guidance, respect, charity, understanding, concern, and self-sacrifice. I’ll leave you with a quick question – during these times of uncertainty and difficulty which actions are dominating your behavior?

During challenging times each of us can help others in a personal way. I have decided to offer everyone my latest book, "Life's Simple Truths", as a totally free downloaded pdf file. Keep in mind it's not a book but a 365 day journal that requires a few minutes of effort and contemplation each day. FYI - if you are not a spiritual person you won't like it or benefit from it so don't request it. If you want additional info about it just go to my website - www.timconnor.com. Again - no obligation, no continued promotion, I won't store your email address etc. etc. I just want to do my small part to help those who I can during these difficult times. To request it - just send me a message to; timspeaks4u@gmail.com with "free book" in the subject line and it will be sent to you the same day. Share it with others if you feel it might help them. Be safe everyone.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK Do you live by the 100% rule? Do you even know what it is? Or, you could care less? It’s simple, really. I’ll apply it in just two life areas in this message. Do you take 100% full responsibility for every area of your life regardless of outcomes or consequences? Not sure? Have you ever blamed, or finger pointed at anybody else for any life circumstance or situation? Have you ever complained about anything? If yes to either you don’t pass the 100% rule. Come on Tim, if that’s the basics of the rule no one will ever pass no one is perfect. You might be surprised how many people take 100% responsibility for every area of their life. One more quick one if you are not sure how about your career or business have you ever not taken 100% responsibility for any mistake, failure or poor action or decision? Again if yes you failed. So, Tim, what’s your point with this message, we all screw up at something sooner or later. You are missing the point I’m not saying you have not passed if you fail at anything or if you have not succeeded. I’m just asking you if you have the maturity, courage to live by the 100% rule taking full responsibility for life outcomes either positive, or negative? A question which group do you think is more successful in life?

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – Everything and everyone in your life is in your life as a teacher. Failure, success, adversity, customers, children, etc. are all teachers. They are here to teach us – not about them or it but about ourselves. For example, my kids were in my life to teach me what I needed to learn about me – patience, courage, tolerance not just for me to teach them. Failure wants me to learn faith. Success wants me to learn to avoid arrogance and ego. The list is endless. Guess what, if a teacher (person or circumstance) comes into our lives to teach us a lesson and we fail to learn it from them – life will keep sending us more teachers; more; relationships, failures, problems, and opportunities, etc. until we get it. Once we learn the current lessons life will then send us new teachers to teach us new stuff – but remember – it’s always about teaching us stuff about us and what we need to learn about ourselves on how to handle life, overcome weaknesses and grow. The teachers keep coming, the learning never ends, and we can either learn and grow or resist and stay stuck. What are some of the teachers in your life trying to teach you about you now? What is the current situation with the virus trying to teach you about you? A new lesson or a repeating one?

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – I know it’s just Monday but I’m out of town speaking all week. Ever regretted not spending enough time with a spouse, child, employee or customer?  It’s a common issue.  And why? We say we are just too busy with work, travel, errands or a million other reasons but what’s the real reason we fail to spend adequate time with others that are important in our life?  Let me be clear - it’s not a time issue but one of intent.  A quick example.  Last week a friend didn’t respond to a text I sent them in the mid-morning asking a simple question that would require a simple yes or no response.  Noon the next day I got an answer.  Keep in mind I am not a control freak, impatient or lack an understanding that people have more important things to do other than responding to my emails, texts or phone calls.  The answer was yes. But I asked why it took 36 hours to respond.  “I am really busy.” How long does it take to type three letters into your phone and hit send?  The second response was “I needed to think about it before I answered.”  The question I asked was “Can we spend some time together this week?”  Folks, the issue is not the time it takes to be with someone, call them or answer them – it’s your intent. There is real or honest intent and then there is stated intent.  If people don’t do what they promised or said they would do their stated intent didn’t matter – they were just words – it was their real intent all along not to do what they said. It’s what I call “the set-up”.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - I’ve discovered that when it comes to individual’s reactions to life circumstances, people, adversity, opportunities, etc. there are two types of people inside-out and outside-in. Let me explain with two examples. No one - You are on your way to an important appointment and you get a flat tire. An outside-in person starts blaming the road, the tire, the weather, the whatever. While in blame mode they also start whining, complaining and even screaming at whatever or whoever. An inside-out person just starts changing the tire. No two - A peer received a promotion that you felt you deserved. How do you think the outside-in person reacted? The inside-out person? Who do you think lives longer? Who do you think is more successful? Who do you think tends to be happier?  Which one do you think you are? If you asked some close friends or relatives which one would they say you are? Know any outside -in people? Like being around them? Listening to them? Know any inside-out people? Learned any valuable lessons from them? Look forward to spending more time with them? If you are an outside-in person - I’ll wager you don’t like or agree with this concept. If you are an inside-out person - I’ll wager you wish the article were a bit longer. Go figure.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – Endings and new beginnings. A new beginning – you were born and the final ending you die – and in between, there are hundreds of new beginnings and endings during your life; a new job, a new relationship, a new home and the loss of a loved one, saying goodbye to your favorite car and retirement and so many others.  The question I want to ask you is this – when a new beginning starts can you let go of the ending with clarity, ease and emotional maturity or when an ending happens can you start a new beginning with hope, optimism, faith and no regrets from the past? A common saying is that whenever a door closes a new one always opens but here’s the issue – just because it opens doesn’t mean you have to go through it.  And just because one closed doesn’t mean you have to accept it and move on, quit or give in. It often takes courage and so much more to let go of anything due to an ending and just as much to embrace a new beginning that is filled with uncertainty and unknowns.  But one thing life has taught me is every beginning sooner or later has an ending and every ending brings with it the potential for a new beginning – so I’ll leave you with the real question - can we deal with either with trust, belief, faith and hope, wisdom and confidence or do we stay stuck in blame, regret, anger, resentment or fear?

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – When was the last time you looked in the mirror?  Not to shave or put on your makeup but to reflect on who you have become, who you are or who you are not yet? Did you ever think your life would turn out this way?  Did you ever think you would be this old?  Did you ever think you would have accomplished so much or so little? I could go on but the real question here is this – ten years from today when you look in the mirror again, what will you see that will be; different, better, worse or the same? How will you spend the next ten years – growing or stuck, getting wiser or falling behind, gaining respect or losing it, accomplishing more or just settling and looking back on happy memories or regrets? And finally – in the past ten years what have you deleted from your bucket list, added to it or just given up on the whole idea of bucket lists as a stupid idea? Or, I could make this even harder by changing the word from ten to twenty or even thirty. Whether you are thirty, fifty or seventy it’s simple – where you end up is based on one simple concept - the direction you are traveling every day.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - As someone with more on his bucket list than is possible to ever accomplish in the time he has left, I have to ask you – are you putting off doing anything in your life; travel, activities, starting something, ending something, new relationships, etc. and feel you have a good excuse or common sense rationales or reasons?  Well, let me tell you as one who did this more than I care to admit – it’s a stupid life approach and here’s why.  I don’t know if there are tennis courts, beaches and restaurants in heaven but we have them here – and sooner or later we are all leaving.  One of life’s biggest regrets in life is living with regrets.  A quote from my mentor Mark Twain once said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do that the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, leave the safe harbor and catch the winds in your sails.”  You are waiting why – the right time, the best weather, the right person, enough money – get over it – there is never a RIGHT time for anything but there is always A time to do it. Stop waiting.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – what are you taking for granted in life today. Here are few statistics just to get you thinking – in 2019 in the US; there were over 500,000 homeless, over 2 million people diagnosed with cancer, over 55 million people died, over 40,000 fatal car accidents and one more in case you think you deserve a raise - more than one-third of the global population earns less than two dollars per day.  I could go on for pages with this stuff and I’m not trying to be morbid – I’m just asking you what do you take for granted every day?  Regardless of your age, race, status, religion, education or gender, I’m guessing you are not in any of the previously mentioned categories. So – Got - a roof over your head, have three meals a day, got a job, in good health, have people who care about you, have a car that still runs, have a heart that works – want me to keep going or have I made my point?  So, let me leave you with just two questions as you go about your daily routines today – what are you taking for granted in life? Is it time to seriously reconsider all that you take for granted every day?

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - You do know that driving, eating or doing anything faster doesn’t give you one more minute of life but that it could actually give you a lot less?  Let me explain for those of you who are in too much of a hurry to even read an article that will take less than one minute. For you “Hurriers” just ask yourself – why are you always in a hurry? I’ll bet you can’t come up with a reasonable answer except maybe it’s - “just how I am.” FYI - The single biggest contributor to death is stress, the biggest contributor to stress is impatience, the biggest contributor to impatience is the need for control and the biggest contributor to the need for control is staying in “Hurry Mode.”  Get it you “Hurriers” . . . you may get to your destination sooner but you are still – killing yourself sooner than necessary.  So - have a nice day and live long and prosper you folks who let life happen and then do your best with what you have been given and deal with it as best you can as it comes at you.