MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - OK, so the holidays are over. For some folks, they will linger on well into the new year.  They will relive parties, football games, and on and on and on – for weeks. They made New Year’s Resolutions that didn’t survive the first weekend.  They made promises and commitments to family, friends, and others that are long forgotten. They spent several lazy days making excuses and avoiding anything like year-end; self-evaluation, introspection or analysis and accountability.  No one needs to tell you that it is 2020 and this year is a blank slate and 12 months from now you will be looking back deciding whether it was a great year or one you want to forget for any number of reasons. It is time to get started.  It is time to begin in earnest what you didn’t accomplish in 2019.  So, why not live this year with; purpose, passion, desire, written goals, specific plans, self-accountability, fun, gratitude, wisdom, effort, faith, courage, kindness and compassion.  I will guarantee that if these are the foundation of your 2020 actions, thoughts, behaviors and attitudes – this year will be – one for the books – one that will live forever in your heart and mind as “WOW – I would have never thought I could have accomplished so much.”  So - GO FOR IT – NO regrets and NO excuses.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – So – your 2020 is all planned, scheduled and your goals are set and ready to rock . . . I believe in all of these activities and spend routine time every week, month and year considering them. However – have you ever had a routine fall apart?  Ever not achieved a goal? Ever not finished a project that was well planned? And why do any of these unplanned outcomes happen – because something you couldn’t control showed up! In 2020 if you are a control freak you will spend a lot of time in anxiety, frustration and disappointment. If you don’t try to plan anything or set goals you will end up with the same negative outcomes.  So, what’s the answer to a successful and peaceful stress-free 2020? Plan, schedule and set the goals but don’t get attached to them. Don’t assume it will all end up as planned or hoped. Have a plan B and even a plan C – just in case. Accept the simple fact that there is very little in life that you can control and that the how’s, when’s, where’s or who’s that impact your life, career or business can happen in an instant. One of my mantra’s for many years has been – “I will get excited if it happens but I won’t be disappointed if it doesn’t.”  Try it – it works. Have a great 2020.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - You’ve heard it . . . and I’m sure you’ve said it – “You need to think outside the box.” When or why are you supposed to think outside the box? When something isn’t working, you are not getting the results you need, or you have lost control of a process?  Yes, and there are more reasons to experiment with new ideas, approaches, and concepts, but my point in this brief note is that there is an inherent problem with thinking outside the box and that is when you do - by trying something new, different or better - if, in the end, what’s outside the box doesn’t work or solve the problem - what do you think most people’s tendency is to do next?  You guessed it - to jump back into the original comfortable box they have been in even though what’s in that box - isn’t working which ultimately triggered the need to jump into a new box. I’m not suggesting that you should always try different or new stuff or settle for the status quo – what I’m saying is that what you may need to consider is “Throwing the box away.” When change is necessary if you give yourself the opportunity to retreat into what has been in the past when something new you try doesn’t work - what do you think your chances are of creative new solutions in the future?  Try letting go of the ability to jump into the safety net of what has worked in the past or may not be working today and embrace what can or might be the future – in 2020 – it’s a blank slate and who knows – amazing outcomes could be waiting so - Throw the box away!

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - You get the behavior you reward - if you don't like the behavior stop blaming the people who are behaving inappropriately whether they are - customers, employees, children, spouses, etc. They are behaving the way they are because you are either tolerating it or contributing to it. i.e. customers who pay for invoices in 60, 90 days or longer - why - because you let them. Kids who act like idiots in public - why - because you let them. Employees who are always late - why - because you let them.  Shall I go on or have you figured this out? If someone is not behaving the way they should, or you would like them to - stop pointing the finger and look in the mirror.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK – Ever had a nogret?  You have probably never heard the word before because I just made it up.  I have been considering a simple idea the past several days – how can we live with less regret in life either due to the actions and decisions of others or ourselves so I came up with this word. Regret means to look in the past and feel remorse (regret) for actions, choices and decisions. What if we were to reverse that process? Nogret is asking you to fix things in advance with wiser behavior, actions, decisions, choices, etc. before these consequences become regrets. Consider a simple three-step process as a technique to embrace “Nogret” for the coming year. It will help you avoid future emotional, financial, physical and relationship pain.  Step one: Develop a decision process that includes patience, inspection, double consideration, and a minimum of a 24-hour waiting period before any action is taken regardless of the circumstance.  Step two; Share your potential decision issues with someone you trust and respect who will give you neutral, honest, unbiased and thoughtful feedback.  You don’t have to like them or accept them – you just need to consider them.  Step three; If you are unwilling to take 100% ownership of both the short and long-term outcomes, results or consequences – reconsider.  Try it before your next decision or action – you might be amazed at how much future pain you can avoid.  Live 2020 with -Nogret!

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK So far this week have you gotten yourself into a twit because you had to wait in line at the bank, waited too long for your server to bring your meal, were in a traffic, were on hold on the phone too long or any other situation you couldn’t control? Over the years as a sailor, I learned early that I could not control the wind, but I could control the rudder. Do you know a control freak? Are you one? Well if you are let me tell you, you spend far too much time in life upset, annoyed, anxious, frustrated, stressed, etc. The biggest contributor to death is stress, the number one contributor to stress is impatience, the biggest contributor to impatience is the emotional need for control. So, if you have control issues – guess what - yep you are killing yourself sooner than necessary. Let me ask you - what can you control in your life – think about it - really can you control how other people drive, what other people think, how others act, the weather - this list is endless? Sure, you can control what you eat, when you go to bed, what you wear, etc. got it - you can control you that’s it. So, it’s simple relax, chill, slow down, enjoy the moment whatever it entails or keep yourself in stress mode and miss the adventure of life that is in front of you

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - You As we approach the end of another year I was wondering where your focus and attention have been – on yesterday and the past and what you can’t change or do-over, on tomorrow and the future and what there is no guarantee you will have or the present as you passed through each day one person, one event, one challenge and one blessing at a time. As a holiday Hallmark Junkie, I was watching one of my favorite Christmas movies last week and the thought struck me – do most people live as they will have forever or do, they live one amazing day at a time?  We are all here for a little while.  I don’t care if you are in your thirties, fifties or eighties, no one knows how much time they have left.  What happens after you leave here is another discussion but one day will be your last and do you know when that day will be?  OR, do you want to ensure that when that day arrives you can leave here knowing you touched whoever crossed your path - in a positive and lasting way while you were here?

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - During each day there are those who choose to see only the darkness during the brightest day and there are those who can see only the light in life’s darkest hours. Every life is filled with choices that lead us either in a positive or negative way into our future. At the end of each day, we can say thank you for the many gifts’ life has given us or we can wallow in despair about how unfair life was to us in some ways. As we move to the end of another year either you have taken the time to create a list of all of the gifts life has given you or have you been only focused on what you deserve, want, need or believe is what life owes you? If you are in the first group, you will end this year with inner peace and a smile.  If you are in the second group, I’m guessing you will end this year with disappointment, anxiety, and regret.  In the end - every day in life is a moment by moment gift – each breath, each heartbeat, each relationship, and each opportunity. If you are reading this, you have been given many gifts this day.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - People come and go through our lives have you ever considered how many people have crossed your life path over the years and where some of them are now? Think about it friends, former co-workers, neighbors and often even relatives who you have lost touch with – when was the last time you thought about someone in your past who you influenced or had an impact on you? We are living at a time when many relationships are measured by the number of photos on a phone or a recent text message. When was the last time you picked up the phone and called your long-lost High School best friend, your long-ago college roommate or even one of your kids that you only see once or twice a year? When was the last time you sent a letter (you know - a piece of paper that goes inside an envelope with a stamp on it) to someone who you had a long relationship who has now faded into the past? I don’t know where this current technology trend will take us in the future, but I know one thing – it is changing how we interact with the people who cross our life path and not always in a positive way.  There are some who stay in touch with the people in their lives but the ultimate question I’ll leave you with is - who do you need to contact or reconnect with?

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - Everyone has their personal share of blessings and challenges, happy moments and times of adversity and discouragement and support from others during their life.  It’s interesting how most of us don’t have the privilege of choosing which ones both the positive and negative situations come into our life.  We all have had some blessings we probably didn’t deserve and some challenges that we never saw coming.  But, consider - regardless of what is in your life today or has been this year do you feel like you have a choice to accept or reject the various circumstances or is all you believe you can do is settle for what shows up from day to day or year to year in your life? 2020 is another year in the ongoing process of your life. I believe you can see everything that enters your front door of life next year whether a circumstance or a person as either a “life breaker” or a “life builder”.  It’s a simple choice – see yourself as a victim or a crusader, an adventurer or a useless wanderer or an undeserved recipient or a change agent who in the end refuses to take the blessings for granted and give up control to the challenges. As this year comes to a conclusion – how would you like next year to be better or different than this year was?

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - there are negative and positive stressors – a divorce or a wedding, going broke or winning the lottery, getting fired or getting a promotion. So – everything in life is a potential stressor. In essence, there are good and bad stressors, but in the end, they all have the same effect on your health and mentally driven behaviors. And why? Because the mind doesn’t judge – it treats all stressors – both positive and negative the same – in the end, all stressors contribute negatively to mental, emotional and physical health. Think of life’s stressors as if it was like getting news from someone. Some people might interpret the news as if it were negative – bad news while others could interpret the same news as good news. We all interpret everything in life personally and uniquely but in the end, truth is the truth - whether we like it or agree with it – it’s still the truth. So - what is stress – it is what is happening outside of you – circumstances, situations, people you meet, what you are doing, etc. and then how you choose to interpret what is happening and how you decide to respond internally to any or all of these.  In other words - stress is your inside-out reactions and responses to outside-in circumstances, people and events. So, if you are stressed in a negative way changing your environment – a new spouse, a new job, a new car, etc. is not the answer is to learn to control your inside-out responses to things you can’t control.

MY THURSDAY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - You are responsible to people not for them. This includes employees, customers, relatives, spouses and everyone you interact with. Having raised three kids over the years my approach was I am responsible to support you, educate you, love you and help you when and where I could but at some point, you are responsible for your choices, actions, and decisions. In my last fulltime position before going fulltime as a speaker I as responsible to 35 salespeople and a support staff of over twenty.  If you want to keep your position, get promoted or achieve a raise it isn’t because I owe it to you it’s because you earned it. I provided the training and you either used it or you didn’t.  As a speaker in front of several hundred people my responsibility is to you – to offer information and ideas you can use to benefit your career, life or business – you can use it or not – if you do – great – if you don’t – I won’t lose any sleep.  Let me repeat – I am always responsible to you, but I am not responsible for you.